Tag: past & present

To start in a biblical way : in the beginning (of my photographic journey), there was…me and a lot of mess bubbling around.

The other day I rediscovered this video while surfing the web (it is a succession of pictures from my early portfolio). I remembered it, although I hadn’t seen it for ages.

When I came to photography, I was moved by good intentions and was stubbornly determined to achieve decent results. However it can be said that, at that time, my ideas were totally unclear. Lots of grey clouds were running around in my head. I enjoyed hanging around, carrying the camera in my hands but had no clue what subjects to choose and to work on or with & what direction and shape should be given to my work.

Comparing past & present, inevitably reveals a quick self-assesment and after that, I see myself as I am now. And I whisper : “Oooh”. This “Oooh” implies both positive & negative feelings & prerogatives. Looking back at my early work stage, the first photos I took, make me smile (this is a positive, tender feeling) because I realise the improvements, the step-forwards that have been made, both from a technical & knowledeagble point of view, but also considering the development of a vision, of a more stable, defined and consistent line of approach to photography.

On the other side, I almost feel “embarassed” with these shots. They seem so naive, unprepared, unspecial. Like thrown out by accident. Luckily I have understood that these kind of thoughts are self-defeating.

I am a strict judge of myself and my work. I am my own worst enemy. But I have learnt from experience. This tells me that persevering is positive, only if it is of help to develop our self-consciousness. We need to be self-conscious, this is fundamental to our growth and is the key to self-confidence, this can make us stronger. After this step, my true values are humility and the will to act in a honest way, to express a concept about myself that is true.

We are the result of genes, upbringing and what we have experienced. We are a “line”, a connection between past and present. But I would add that we are also a series of elaborations, tries and processes that we imposed on ourselves. We did it because we wanted to grow and to improve. We are a living process, we are a stream. We cannot deny ourselves and our past expressions.

In all that I do, there is a search for love. Photography has, for me, been a healing process and a blessing, it has rescued me in so many ways. It has encouraged, strenghtened and fired me up to do something that I love. It has opened doors by exchanging ideas with other people. It is a great form of communication..

Watching this video, brings back memories of those who encouraged me in my quest and I have included below (see pictures!) some of those who helped me through my initial struggles. They are a part of my journey and my life. I thank them all dearly!