I am late in publishing this post, which marks the end of 2025. I feel like I am into a slow phase, even though it is the contrary indeed as a lot of stuff is happening.

2025 was a year of action and turning points. It was relentless, fast, hard but good. I believe I reached a wider maturity and self-awareness. Some of the blessings were a renewed courage and the enormous and uplifting love and support received from many friends throughout this season. On many occasions I felt accepted and cherished, I could also express a part of my inner-self while working with kids, with a positive team’s impact.

At moments I felt stuck, however there was always something, there was always a chance around the corner and something was about to happen. I spent most of this year trying to treat an inflammation (which has not yet completely gone away), taking cortisone and experiencing blurred vision in my itchy left eye, thanks to the after-effects of a nasty viral infection of the cornea. Let’s just say that I can now ask to 2026: “Please, give me the boring!!”

In spring I moved to Parma, where I stayed for 6 months, then left for Bristol and returned to Parma by the end of the year. Not having found my way yet, and dealing with my mother’s concerning symptoms, memory wise (now also under a physical stand point, as she broke her femur in December) were painful mark points that led me to take practical decisions “under fire”.

The end of the year came with a busy schedule and I had to manage my emotions whilst handling obligations. The past weeks were mentally noisy and emotionally tense. I lived this period with a sense of strain, worry, unclearness. But I believe that this situation is temporary and NOT a catastrophe!

In this very moment progress is slower than I want. I am juggling more demands and I am not having a clear mind to be able to think about myself. I need to give myself priorities, balancing support for my mother and with my own life, without feeling overwhelmed, lost, empty. I want to trust my instincts, not letting fear distorting my daily life. And I believe that I can stay on top of things, even when overwhelmed!!

Earlier on today I spoke on the phone with a friend who said to me: “What do you plan to do with your life? You are meant for great things, but at the moment you are not building anything”. And I replied to her : “You’re right”. And I don’t love that, over the past 10 years, I haven’t carefully worked out myself and that I have lost time in projects that I haven’t fulfilled but it is a privilege to BE HERE NOW. I hope that the “dark ages” of my life are finally gone and I know God has good plans for me and I trust that whole heartedly.

Now it is the moment to pause and to chose a direction. It is rather about planning than acting. I need to weigh options carefully and to look beyond the current mess. May 2026 be to me a year in pursuit of significance, a call for stability and of a time of positive encounters! I pray that I will have the courage to choose something (and someone) that is suitable for me and that I will commit to last.